Mamahood Stories~A Hopeful Mama

Welcome to the Mamahood Stories guest blogger series!!  I have asked several special mamas to write posts for this series and I really believe they are going to encourage you and build you up!  My wish is that as you read these posts leading up to Mother’s Day, you are encouraged and exhorted to love on other mamas, waiting mamas, and women longing to be mamas!

Today’s post comes from the love Melissa Forster.  She beautifully shares her journey to becoming a mama over at her blog, Borderless.  I love how she finds God’s goodness in the pains and hards of infertility and miscarriage, and how she boldly shares her faith!  I’m sure her Mamahood Story will encourage you today!  If you know someone struggling with infertility share this with them too!  Make sure to go check out her little blog space as well!!

I have always wanted to be a Mama. For as long as I can remember, I always had favorite dolls and any pretend story always included me as the Mama. My husband, Dan, and I married in 2007. I was 21, still in college and fertility issues were the furthest thing from my mind.  I went on birth control a few months before the wedding, because as much as I wanted to be a Mama… we weren’t ready.

In late 2009, I came off the pill because it was causing some awful side effects. At the time, we weren’t exactly ready for kids, but we knew I couldn’t stay on the pill. I will be honest, as much as I knew we weren’t ready, I thought we would be pregnant quickly. I had no clue that getting pregnant could be difficult. I thought simply having sex was all we would ever need to do.  I had no clue that there could be more to it.

In late 2011, at my yearly check-up, my OBGYN thought it was strange that we had been off the pill for two years and not gotten pregnant. I thought it was strange too. I had started “charting” a little but really had no clue what I was doing. My OBGYN ran some tests and diagnosed me with Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS).

PCOS is a complicated hormonal disorder. Every woman’s story looks different. Basically, if hormones are involved – PCOS can screw it up. One of the biggest problems with PCOS is that it can cause infertility. My OBGYN gave me some pamphlets, told me to lose weight, put me on some medications and recommended I take Clomid (an “entry level” fertility drug) if we wanted to get pregnant.

I took her advice, read everything I could get my hands on related to PCOS and started my journey to a healthier lifestyle. Even though I was getting healthier by the day, I still couldn’t wrap my head around the word “infertile.” Sure, we hadn’t been preventing pregnancy for years, but I couldn’t possibly be infertile. We waited until my next annual checkup in 2012 to pursue clomid.

After several cycles on clomid, my OBGYN told us there was nothing more she could do, and she referred us to an Reproductive Endocrinologist (RE). So off we went. That first appointment was terrifying. The doctor reviewed our history, discussed a million tests that we needed to consider, and then explained the options we would have based on the outcomes of our tests. It was overwhelming to say the very least.

After a month of uncomfortable testing (for both Dan and I), the RE felt it was best that I continue with clomid but add a “trigger shot” that would force my body to ovulate. The plan included going to the office for an ultrasound, taking clomid, going in for a second ultrasound, taking the trigger shot in my stomach, and timing intercourse on very specific days. Honestly, it was so little compared to what many endure, but it was a lot for us. Each “cycle” lasted about 35 days and if we were not pregnant, we started over again. There was something to do each day to ensure that we were “on track”.

 

In July 2013, after three months of this protocol, we got our first ever positive pregnancy test. I took the test on a Wednesday before work…and didn’t stop smiling all day. I spent most of the day looking for nursery décor and ways to tell our families. Our wait was over! We shared the news with our family on Thursday night, and my mother in law instantly started praying for “Trudy.” She didn’t know why, but it was just the name that kept coming to her mind.

Sadly, we learned one week later that our precious Trudy was an ectopic prengnacy. I was rushed into surgery to end my pregnancy and save my life. Thankfully, my RE was a very skilled surgeon, and he was able to save all my reproductive parts. I am told that is very rare when it comes to ectopic pregnancies. Although we lost our baby, I still believe that God worked in big ways. My life was saved, and my body was still whole after surgery.

In March 2014, we celebrated Trudy’s due date by going away for a weekend. I got my first tattoo to mark Trudy’s special life. A constant reminder of Genesis 50:20, “What you meant to harm me, God has used to change my life and the lives of many.”

In April 2014, we went back to the RE. He told us that we would most likely never get pregnant without the help of fertility drugs. In fact, he would recommend that we skip all other “steps” and move straight into In Vitro Fertilization (IVF) due to our history. We felt moving straight to IVF was extreme and decided to do one more cycle of the protocol we had been on previously. We felt if that protocol did not work, we would then look deeper into other options.

Things didn’t go as planned. I had a terrible reaction to the medication, which forced us to take a break. I spent most of the summer in and out of the hospital due to the side effects of that one month of drugs. During that time, we spent a lot of time asking God what our next steps where when it came to being parents. Both Dan and I felt God was saying “be still”. To us, that meant we were not only going to stop pursing treatment, but we weren’t going to worry about charting or really anything related to trying to have a baby. We were simply going to live our lives in a healthy way and allow God to do the rest.

The choice to not go back to the RE was one of the hardest decisions I have ever had to make. I had gotten pregnant with fertility drugs… and I had a hard time accepting that God wouldn’t let me continue. But, I quickly learned, God wasn’t punishing me. He had so many good things in the wait. I would never say waiting is easy, but there is a lot to celebrate in waiting. We have been able to experience so much and grow so much in our wait.

Letting go of the constant need to count and chart and take medication has been so good for me. Medical science is an amazing thing. I am so thankful that God has given doctors the wisdom He has… but at the end of the day, babies are still miracles. No matter if they are conceived naturally or through medical intervention… each life is a miracle. Realizing that there is nothing I can to do (or can’t do) to make a baby has been incredibly freeing. This girl likes to control things and learning that God is bigger than what I can control has been a hard, but wonderful lesson. His way of doing things is always much better than mine!

In early 2016, after a year long struggle with PCOS systems that had gotten out of control, I found an OBGYN that specialized in hormone health. She understood our desire to “be still” when it came to trying to have a baby, but still working towards hormone health.

In March 2017, I got the surprise of my life… a positive pregnancy test. A miracle baby, we quickly started calling Lil Bit.

Dan and I were both so shocked when we got that positive test. We waited on God and believed He could do anything… but still couldn’t believe when He did! Ha, thankfully God worked even in my unbelief!

Carrying Lil Bit was a roller coaster. There were good days and bad days. Sadly, I only carried Lil Bit for 10.5 weeks. Although our story didn’t end the way we hoped, God was in every detail, taking care of us and providing for us. Lil Bit’s life defied medical odds. We got pregnant naturally. Something doctors told us would never happen.

I have always loved saying “But if not, He is still good”, but it feels different now.  I can relate so much to what Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego said to the king in Daniel 3:18. Dan and I have begged God to change our situations, and then seen Him be good to us even when our situations didn’t change. We have been thrown into the fire and survived to tell the story. We didn’t survive because we are awesome. We survived because God is good.

The journey to motherhood has been hard, but God has been so very good to us. In a lot of ways, getting pregnant again is scary. However, we believe that God is bigger than fear. We believe God’s promise still stands. We will have children in our home. We believe God will do it again… soon!

This post is linked up over here:

Sunday Soul Food no.5

Happy Sunday Everybody!!  I’m a little late in writing and posting this Sunday Soul Food post this week, but GRACE GRACE!!

We just had a lovely installation service for our new pastor at church today!!  It was a beautiful service and half of the worship songs had me bawling while I sang today!  After service we had a wonderful fellowship luncheon…I LOVE these lunches because I get to talk to someone new and my sweet girl gets to run her guts out around the church with her little pals!!

Now we are home and I am enjoying my Citrus Fresh in my diffuser while I write.  I’m listening to sounds of a thunder storm coming from Agnes’ bedroom while she naps away!  I’m hoping to make homemade pizzas tonight…planned to make them Friday, but my HUBBY FINISHED HIS MASTER’S DEGREE!!!!!!!  Let me take a second to BRAG ON HIM!!  I am SO PROUD of my awesome hubster, that I now affectionately call Master Tim, for his AMAZING accomplishment of getting his Master’s degree while working full time, Daddying full time, husbanding full time, and just taking care of us girls well!!  SOOOO, we went to dinner to celebrate on Friday night…then planned on making pizza last night, but was invited to a lovely team hang out at our head of school’s home after the school Spring Concert (which btw was so cute…love watching my littles that I used to teach perform their little hearts out)…so tonight I’m going to try and make home made pizzas, but am flexible for anything else fun that may come along!

Loving Spring!

Loving reading my Bible in the mornings!

Loving my oils diffusing through the house and on my person!  Seriously guys, must do a post soon on my love affair with Stress Away (don’t worry, my husband is so on board with this love…Stress Away and Jesus are making me a better wife and mama).

Loving watching my girl grow into such an awesome little girl (even though part of me is sad that she is not so little anymore) I think she gets more fun every day!!

Getting ready to hold my first facebook oils class this evening!  I’m super excited!!  If you want to go to it, all are welcome!  Leave me a comment on this post and I can invite you to the event…it will be open all week so you can go at your own pace!

Enjoy the rest of your Sunday!

Mamahood Stories guest blogger series starts tomorrow!!  EEK!!  I’m SOOO EXCITED for you all to read these precious ladies’ stories!!

Five Minute Friday no.4

I missed the Five Minute Friday link-up last week because I posted this, it was a dear to my heart post that I felt was worth missing Five Minute Friday to post…if you missed it, would you please go give it a read?

I love this five minute writing prompt each week…every Friday there is a new word that we all write about for five minutes…then we share our posts in a linky party…then we get to read what we each thought about the same word…SO FUN!

Today’s word is TURN.  I’ve got my diffuser going with peppermint and lemon, and I’m feeling awake and ready to write.  I will set my timer here in a second to five minutes (cause I really don’t like to “cheat” although sometimes I do finish that last sentence or two after the buzzer sounds) and write.  When you are finished here, feel free to click on the picture above and head over to read some other Five Minute Friday posts!

Turn.

Maybe it is the first grade teacher in me…maybe it’s the mama of a toddler in me…but when I hear the word turn I think “take turns!” or “be kind and share please”…oh the many times I have found myself saying that to my littles.

We are often telling kids to take turns, or to let others have a turn, but are we giving ourselves a turn in life?  Now, before I type anymore here, please hear my heart.  I am not writing the following to boast in myself, but rather to boast in the work that the Lord is currently doing in my life, in the hopes that it will encourage you.

I feel like the Lord is gently telling me that it is my turn now.

My turn to live.

My turn to breathe.

My turn to be healthy.

My turn to dream.

My turn to walk with my head held high in confidence…confidence in who I am…confidence in my appearance, in how He created me…confidence in my faith…confidence in my abilities…I know the word isn’t confidence…but I truly feel Him telling me that it is my turn to have confidence.

As a teacher of littles, as a mama, as a wife, as a Bible study leader, it has been my job to cheer others on, and that is a job that I never want to quit…but it is okay to let the Lord work in me, and it is okay to take a turn cheering myself on!

Agnes is obsessed with this book and we read at least 5 times a day now!  It has become the ONLY BOOK we read at bedtime.  I feel like it has been speaking to me, to shine my light that God has put inside me!  I love how the Lord even uses children’s books to speak to my heart!  I’m paraphrasing here but it says “now shine like the sun! sparkle like the stars!  and wherever you go dark will stop being dark!”  I just LOVE that!

So today I am claiming the light inside me!  I am claiming my turn to shine!  And my prayer is that wherever I go “dark will stop being dark!”

Have you taken a turn for yourself lately?  What is the Lord leading you to take a turn in?

Switch-N-Ditch~Windex Edition

Can I just start by saying I FREAKING LOVE MY YOUNG LIVING THIEVES CLEANER!!

Okay, got that out of the way, ha!  But really, I have shocked myself with HOW MUCH I love Thieves!!  I had heard about Thieves and how wonderful it was, and truly believed that other people loved it…but in my heart I was a little skeptical.  I mean I heard it smells a little like Christmas, and I didn’t know how I felt about that…do I really want my house to smell like Christmas?  I heard you can clean literally EVERYTHING with it, and I wasn’t quite sure…I mean how can you clean mirrors or windows with an all natural concentrate mixed with water and not leave streaks??  I heard “you are going to love Thieves” over and over again, but truly all I kept thinking was “but I really love my Windex“…and I just wasn’t sure that this Thieves stuff was going to make anything really shiny and clean.

LISTEN!!  My fears and doubts have been put to rest and I am SOLD on Thieves for everything, FOR LIFE!  Here are just 5 (of a million so far) reasons why I am in love with Thieves and will sing it from the roof tops till all of you all have this in your homes too:

1.  It does smell like Christmas, but in the BEST OF WAYS!!  It doesn’t have an artificial Christmas decor smell…but there are hints of spice in there that make you feel at home!  But it smells FRESH TOO, like lemony fresh!  The smell is so pleasing and it lingers after you have cleaned with it!  The smell (remember I thought “Christmas smell, I’m not sure about that”) is one of my fave things about it!
2. It cleans my mirrors BETTER than Windex.  I can’t believe I just wrote that, but guys it is true!!  And this is coming from a person who LOVES her Windex a lot and used to (yes I said USED TO) clean everything with it!  We have mirrored closet doors that I do my make-up in front of and Agnes joins me there quite often…needless-to-say, my sweet precious girl had really done a number on these doors with lotion and snot and spit and dirt…and with my Thieves spray they came so clean, so quickly, not a streak left!!  HAVE I TOLD YOU LATELY I’M IN LOVE WITH THIEVES?!?!
3. My stove top has NEVER looked better (okay maybe that first day when we moved into the apartment and the kitchen was newly installed and the plastic wrapping had literally just been taken off the appliances).  I am not a great stove top cleaner…or should I say I WAS not a good stove top cleaner…I tried all sorts of things on my stove top, hot soapy water, bleach, my beloved Windex, toilet bowl cleaner (what was I thinking, whoa holy chemicals), degreasing cleansers….and it just never looked squeaky, shiny clean to me…so, embarrassingly true, I often just left the stove top as is cause I knew I would never get it clean anyways.  LISTEN!!  I mixed my bottles of Thieves at 30 parts water to 1 part Thieves, which is considered the normal mixture for most cleaning…I didn’t even mix it for heavy degreasing!  Guys and gals my stove needed some SUPER, HEAVY, HEAVY DEGREASING…but I tried the normal mixture I had made…sprayed it on the stove top and wiped away all the ICK!!  I was AMAZED!  I AM AMAZED!  Cleaning my stove top can be easy?  Cleaning my stove top is attainable?  YES IT IS!!  Again, IN LOVE WITH THIS STUFF!
4. It got chocolate off my couch!  That’s right, the same cleaner that degreased my stove top and left it’s stainless steal finish shiny and streak free ALSO took a chocolate stain off of my couch!  My couch has lots of stains from the daily wear and tear of a toddler…oh how I only wish I had Thieves cleaner SOONER!!
5. My bathroom has never smelled better, sparkled more, or been so easy to clean!  I love that my Thieves cleaner is in my spray bottle and I can use it on everything in the house…so, when I went in to clean the bathroom I literally just took my Thieves and paper towels!!  I cleaned my toilet, sink, and mirror in like 10 minutes!!  My mirror is streak free, my toiled is sparkling and the Thieves even got rid of some water stains in the toilet bowl, and my sink is soap scum free!!  GUYS AND GALS THIS IS HUGE!!  The soap scum in my sink has been persistent and my toddler chasing schedule hasn’t afforded for me to be so persistent in removing it and I have tried letting toilet bowl cleaner sit in the sink soaking it, I have to scrub really hard and it’s never all gone.  I will say that I did scrub hard but the Thieves worked like a charm!!

Like I said those are just 5 reasons that I LOVE Thieves, but really I can’t say enough good things about it…and to give you a bonus reason, MY SWEET DAUGHTER SOMETIMES LICKS THE TABLE…when you are done laughing or being grossed out, I want you to think about that…my little one sometimes puts her precious little tongue on the table (settle down guys, she is two) and I don’t have to worry one second about that hurting her anymore…this is a CLEAN and SAFE product!  I don’t feel like I’m wiping harsh chemicals all over the place when I have to wipe the table down for the 50th time of the day cause a certain little someone squished her grapes all over the place again!

Now for a shameless plug…that’s right I said SHAMELESS, cause I am not ashamed to share oils with you, in fact I boldly share them!  When you get your Premium Starter Kit from Young Living, you get a precious little sample pack of Thieves cleaner!  Little packet?  Yes.  But oh so precious packet that will change your cleaning experience and leave you wanting more!  The great thing is this little packet will make almost 4 cups of cleaner!!  Mix it up with 900 ml of water in a spray bottle, preferably glass (Young Living has these if you need one) and then clean to your hearts content…or until you run out and then you are calling me, texting me, emailing me, and facebook messaging me to find out how to get your hands on more!  The beautiful thing is, you can get more, and Young Living has an awesome, generous monthly rewards program to help you stay stocked with all your favorite Thieves products and oils!

Now I’m going to go throw all my Windex (and by all I mean the 4 spray bottles I have dispersed around our little apartment) in the trash!  And while I’m at it I’m chucking my toilet bowl cleaner, degreasing spray (that never really did any degreasing for me anyways), and some other misc. chemical filled cleaners I have kicking around under my counters!

While I take the trash out, what are you waiting for?  Walk, no RUN, or just click here and order your Young Living Premium Starter Kit…while you are in the virtual office add a bottle of Thieves cleaner to your shopping cart, because I promise you are going to want more after you try the sample pack!  Maybe the oily kit intimidates you still, but you are so convinced about the Thieves after reading this…order the Premium Thieves Kit instead of the Premium Starter Kit and get your clean on!!

I know I started with this, but I have to say it one more time…I FREAKING LOVE MY YOUNG LIVING THIEVES CLEANER!!

Linked up over here:

   

 

My Mother’s Day Gift List

Last week I posted My Mother’s Day Wish List, not to be confused with today’s gift list…really if you didn’t read it, go read it now, it is a very dear to my heart list that I really hope we all consider this year around Mother’s Day and actually all the time!  Today’s list will help us all find the perfect gift for our Mamas (or help my hubs find the perfect gift for moi…he he he).  Even if you are not a mama, read this to the end….after all, you have a mama and if you read this post I bet you have someone in your life who could use an encouraging note and lovely gift this year around the Mother’s Day season!

Without further ado…..ALL. THE. THINGS.

Anything from this sweet gal‘s shop!  But especially these, Customizable Glass and Lava Bead Bracelet…this is great for diffusing oils…add a bottle of Stress Away and it becomes the gift that keeps giving as she wears it!

Your mama isn’t into jewelry?  Go get her this dreamy robe!

Or these adorable jammies!

What mama wouldn’t love something cute to jazz up her home???  I know I would love any of these:

 

  

  

MAKE-UP!!!  Savvy Minerals Make-Up!!!

-Savvy Minerals are free from: talc, lead, bismuth, mineral oil, lead, mercury, parabens, phthalates, petrochemicals, synthetic fragrances, and synthetic colorants!

-Savvy Minerals are made in the USA (the brushes are made in Italy).

-Savvy Minerals are cruelty-free, gluten-free, and mostly vegan (the lipsticks and lip glosses have beeswax, so they are not considered vegan).

-Both are calming to the skin, help to absorb excess oil and moisture on the skin and make the skin feel silky smooth. This is important because most mineral makeup uses bismuth, which is a metal mineral that – when worked into the pores – aggravates the pores and causes irritation and breakouts.

-Savvy Minerals last ALL DAY LONG… seriously, ALL DAY LONG! You’ll look as fresh at midnight as you did at 9 AM!

If your mama loves to read, like this mama does (me), think about starting one of these Kindle Unlimited Membership Plans for her!!

Take your mama to lunch, take your mama to the spa, take your mama away for night in a hotel, take her to coffee, or take your mama on a deluxe vacation…if you can do any of these forms of taking do it, your mama deserves it!

GIFT CARDS!!   Gift cards for experiences like getting her hair done, a massage, a pedicure, movie tickets, or maybe a membership to her favorite museum!  Gift cards to her favorite lingerie store, not to be weird, but mamas need nice undergarments and rarely spend money on themselves in this way…so you don’t have to go pick out a bra for your mama but give her a gift card that she has to use on this, not to a Macy’s or some other department store either (she would just end up spending the money on you her child) make it a place she has to spend the card on herself!

While we are talking cards…GET YOUR MAMA A CARD, OR MAKE ONE!  Write the reasons you love her!  REALLY!  DO IT!  If you cannot afford anything on this list, or any list for that matter, you can still afford a hand made card or a love letter.  Your mama will guaranteed LOVE and CHERISH that letter more than anything on this list anyway!

Most importantly, give your mama your time!!  Go be with her on Mother’s Day if you can!  If you are far away (like I am from my mama) make sure to set up a Skype date, even if you have to stay up late cause your in a weird time zone!  Quality time with her babies is what your mama really wants!!

One last thing…

While you are shopping for your mama this year, would you remember someone from this list and at least drop them a quick note that expresses your love and prayers?  Okay, Thanks!

Don’t worry, you have plenty of time to order any of the items above and have them shipped to you in time to give them as the perfect Mother’s Day gifts!  While we are talking all things mama, coming soon “Mamahood Stories“, a special series of guest posts from mamas all over the world.  You won’t wanna miss it!!

FYI, this site uses affiliate links in most posts, and if you choose to purchase through the provided links, we will make a small commission. This is at no additional cost to you and the proceeds are used to fund this blog and support our family. Thank you!

Linking this post up over here:

Sunday Soul Food no.4

Happy Sunday from two happy girls!  This photo was taken yesterday while we were out as a family traipsing through the woods of Budakeszi, Hungary.  Usually I don’t get in the frame, but normally I’m found behind the camera.  I chose to not worry about how I would look and handed the camera over to the hubs to capture this moment with my girl!  I want her to know mama was there too in all these memory making moments!

If you too struggle with getting into the frame of photos, stop now…really…think about how God feels about you and how He sees you, then say “cheese”.  If I can do it someone who has struggled with insecurities about my appearance and who I am for years, yes it just got real…sorry than you can too!  Let’s stop letting our fears steal precious moments and memories from us!

We are getting ready for church and my sweet girl is so excited to see her “FENDS!!”

I have been listening to this song over and over again!  I am who He says I am!  Thank God I’m not who I have been saying I am.  Thank God He is helping me to truly believe His words that He gently, tenderly speaks over me!

Our weather has been so luxurious lately that I have been making yummy salads with all sorts of creative toppings!  Tonight I plan to make Taco salads!!  What do you put on yours?  Our taco salads always have corn on them, YUM!

I just read this book in literally 2 Hours and I am sure I’m going to revisit it often!  Really ready to purge our home of yucky stuff!

Time to head to church!  Enjoy your Sunday!!

Join Me next Sunday for Sunday Soul Food no.5

FYI, this site uses affiliate links in most posts, and if you choose to purchase through the provided links, we will make a small commission. This is at no additional cost to you and the proceeds are used to fund this blog and support our family. Thank you!

 

 

My Mother’s Day Wish List

Mother’s Day is one month away!!  For sooooo many years Mother’s Day brought me pain, like deep cutting “how am I gonna live through this day” kind of pain.  Now that I have one Mother’s Day under my belt as a mama, I am excited for Mother’s Day to come…but all the while, somewhere in the deep secret spaces of my heart I still ache on Mother’s Day…I ache for the mamas in waiting…I still hurt on Mother’s Day for my friends who are walking the dark road of infertility…and I wish (and PRAY HARD) for these waiting mamas to feel peace that passes understand on Mother’s Day (the HARDEST day of the year for some).

So, this year my Mother’s Day wish list contains these wishes:

I wish that I can be sensitive and intuitively watching out for the waiting mamas in my life on this day.

I wish to shower a waiting mama with some special love and gifts on Mother’s Day and I wish that you will feel challenged to do so as well!  Really think and pray about who that special friend is of yours who may be walking the long hard road of infertility or waiting to adopt, and write her a card, send her a gift, drop by with flowers and coffee and HUGS (yes, all the HUGS, and she will probably cry, but inside she is so appreciating that you care).

I wish to be a safe place for that waiting mama to come, a person she can pour her heart out to and cry with.  I wish to not make her feel ashamed because her body isn’t cooperating on the baby making front, but to make her feel loved and to share with her how precious she is in God’s eyes and in my own.

I wish that God will bring friends to my mind and heart that have lost babies or long for babies so that I can lift them up in prayer!

I wish that God will provide some extra cash for me to give to that adopting couple, striving so hard to raise the funds to bring their baby home…and I wish that you will feel inspired to give toward an adoption as well!

I wish that in churches all over the world the waiting mamas will be acknowledged as well…and that when the mamas are asked to stand, that the waiting mamas will feel a little less horrible sitting in their seat, because YOU will grab her hand and hold it tight during this!  I wish that mothers will be honored on Mother’s Day of course, but that also prayers for waiting parents will come from those same pulpits on Mother’s Day.

I wish for you, waiting mama, that you won’t feel like you have to hide in your room with a pint on Ben and Jerry’s all day on Mother’s Day, that you will be able to get out of bed and enjoy time with your spouse…but also, if you just can’t get out of bed, I wish for you to know that is okay, and for you not to spend one minute feeling guilty about it!

I wish for mamas of waiting mamas to understand that your daughter loves you and thinks you are the best mama ever, even if she doesn’t show it super well on Mother’s Day.  She is struggling and sad, and even though you deserve for her to drive over to your house with flowers and chocolate or to take you out to brunch, maybe this year you go love on her instead!

I wish for us all to be more sensitive (myself included) when asking people when they are going to have kids…we never know how that one question can hurt them so badly (well yes I actually do know that hurt, and I’m sorry waiting mama if I have ever inflicted it on you).

I wish for kindness and respect to flow from our lips when talking to waiting mamas this Mother’s Day…often a well meaning comment can hurt her, so really just lead with things like “I love you!  I’m praying for you!” and then stop there!  Say no more, she doesn’t need to hear more, she just needs to hear love!

I wish for all of us mamas who have our children in our arms to be careful about complaining about sleepless nights or whining toddlers!  I wish that we will bite our tongues and not share that all we want for Mother’s Day is to be alone in bed binge watching Netflix…this hurts that waiting mama!  If you truly feel this way, its okay and normal…but please, my wish this year is that you will share those feelings with your closest mama friends in the privacy of your own homes…don’t shout them from the roof tops (or facebook)!

I wish for us mamas to remember our single and childless friends that love our babies fiercely, that act as aunts and spoil them rotten…all the while they may be pining for a family of their own or wondering if they will ever get to mama someone…let’s remember them, lets treat them special…they are part of our village it is taking to raise our sweet kids and so often they are like mamas to so many, but inside feel the void of not truly being a mama.

I wish this Mother’s Day, and always actually, that we as women will build each other up and encourage each other…no matter the stage of life we are in, be it single and childless, mother of 6, waiting mama that is crying each month when she sees one line on yet another pregnancy test, or an empty nester mama that misses her kids that have gone off to college, or a grandma…let’s be kind!  Let’s love on each other and take a second to look beyond our own four walls, our own situation, even look beyond our own hurts and suffering, to think of another woman/mama/waiting mama that we could bless, encourage, love, and be there for!

Linked this Lovely post up here:

   

 

 

 

 

I’m Not Scared

One of the best parts of blogging is the sweet community of writers I get to “meet” via the interwebs!!  Truly I have met some of the kindest women on earth, maybe we will not ever meet face to face, but we the shared fellowship with these ladies is so genuine!

Recently I “met” Roxanne Stephenson, a stay at home mama of two and a published children’s book writer!!  As rewarding and wonderful as motherhood is, Roxanne became bored with the daily grind of laundry, dishes, housework, and playing.  She decided to enrich her life with writing!  She took on the challenge of writing a children’s book to grow and stretch herself more as a person!  She did it!!  I’m so happy for her and excited about this wonderful story for littles!!

This book I’m Not Scared! was written for her oldest child.  He was keeping Roxanne and her husband up nearly every night because of fears.  It became a struggle every evening to bring their son peace and help him get rest, so in a sleep deprived delirium Roxanne wrote a children’s book for her son.  Her first book was on loose leaf paper, stapled together, and written with crayons!  The book helped!  The first draft didn’t completely diminish his fears though, so she kept at it and wrote a new version that had a Biblical message and her son loved reading it and his fears went away!

I love how she took some loose leaf and crayons in a desperate moment and then God birthed this amazing children’s book that is now available for all parents to read to their fearful children at night before bed!!

The book follows Max as he is going to bed. Max encounters his various fears and overcomes each one with the help of God. God holds his hand, lights up the darkness, and guides his imagination bringing Max happiness and comfort.

Do you have a child that is afraid at night?

Are you loosing lots of sleep because your child isn’t sleeping?

First I suggest (and perhaps you are already doing this) praying over that baby of yours EVERY night when they go to bed!  Ask God to help them sleep well and to have sweet peaceful dreams!  Pray this out loud so they hear and understand that prayer is powerful, and so that the prayer is spoken into the atmosphere!

Also, go get yourself a copy of Roxanne’s book at Amazon!  If you have read along here on this blog for any amount of time, you know I’m a lover of books and LOVE reading to my little!! I highly recommend this gem of a story.  It came from a mother’s heart, full of love and desire to help her son!!

Stay tuned for more children’s book reviews!!  I can’t wait to share our favorite adoption books with you!! If you missed this review, go read it…you will want to order that book too!

Linking this post up over here:

A Little Late to the Game

Is April too late in the year to claim a New Year Resolution?

I think not.  Because the God I serve generously gives me new mercies each and every morning.  The Lord of my life forgives me 70 times 7 in any given single day!  My Savior says “today is the day of salvation” and He is holding off coming back so that just one more soul will be saved!!  He loves with patience and long suffering.

Maybe it’s the spring cleaning tips I’m seeing everywhere…maybe it’s this new season I am in, learning to mother well everyday, falling many times and getting back up again…maybe it’s me growing up (about time right, hello thirties)…recently I have felt like God has picked me up and turned me upside-down to dump out all the dust and clear out all the cobwebs and really do some Spring cleaning in my heart.  He is causing me to stir, to question, to wonder, to dream, to seek His will in whole new ways…and while it is so exciting in a lot of ways, it is also terrifying.

I have been blogging for almost 9 full years now.  This sweet space is new, but you are so welcome to go check out my old space (if you want to see my lower quality photos haha, but also learn more about our story).  Pretty much since I began blogging I have also been an avid blog follower…one of those sweet blogs I started following YEARS ago and am still following is Casey’s blog.  Each year for several years now she has chosen a word for her year around New Year’s day…not just her but several blogs I read.  It has always been so fun to read all the words people have chosen and to then see how God uses those words in their lives each year!  I have timidly sat back and loved this, but never joined in on the fun of it…

…in a lot of ways, I have sat back and not joined in on the fun of a lot of things in my life.  I have let my fears and anxieties hold me back.  I have let insecurities and disbelief stunt my growth…

…well today April 10th, 2018 I’m claiming my word for the year!  Yes, I am late to the game, but don’t they say “better late than never” (they being the 40 mid-west dentists, as my husband likes to say).  God is doing serious Spring cleaning in my heart and some of the cobwebs He is clearing out are fear, anxiety, and insecurity.  He wants me to be BOLD.  He wants me to believe what He says about me!  He wants me to be anxious for nothing!  He wants me to act out of love not fear!

Everywhere I look these days I am seeing this theme of BOLDNESS!  In the books I’m reading (if you haven’t read this book go order it now), in the Bible study I am doing, in the business I am launching, in my interactions on the trams and at the playgrounds!!  I really feel like the Lord has basically set the word BOLD before me on one of those bright neon signs, and I can almost audibly hear Him saying “take this, own it, be BOLD, and I will honor that and support you”.

So here I am claiming my word for the year in April (not January, but isn’t today the day of salvation?).  My word is BOLD.  With shaky, open hands I am looking to the Lord with great expectation of what He is going to do with me as I say yes to BOLD this year.  I am going to continue to share our story, but oh so much BOLDER (this is my prayer).  I am going to BOLDLY approach His throne for all the promises He has for me, I am going to BOLDLY ask Him for more!  I am going to start BOLDLY loving my neighbor, instead of pining over not having the community that I long for!

I am going to embrace BOLD this year and I am terrified and excited to see how the Lord uses it!

LINKED UP TODAY:

  

Szent Csalad Park/ Holy Family Park

Yesterday we took Agnes to the playground @ Szent Csalad Park…Szent Csalad means Holy Family!  We had actually set out to go to a different place with her but as we were about to drive by this playground I said to the hubs “quick, park the car, I have been wanting to bring Agnes here!”…so we spent a lovely few hours at the playground in the sunshine!

I didn’t know it was called Szent Csalad park until about an hour into our playground time.  Agnes was biking around and Tim was chasing her while I sat comfortably in the sun with one of the two books I’m currently reading open on the hubs smart phone I hate to admit this, but I’m being broken down about my smart phone feelings and just might end up with one…oh the convenience of books and photos and all the stuff at your fingertips as an on the go mama reading away with such delight!  Occasionally I would move my gaze from the page in my book to my surroundings, check where the hubs and child were, notice the blossoms that are popping up on the trees here now (yes I believe Spring has sprung), and that is when I noticed the sign Szent Csalad Park!

I haven’t been able to shake this thinking about “Holy Family” since seeing that little street sign at the park yesterday.  I’m pretty sure the name of the park has something to do with the Szent Csalad church across the street.  It’s a beautiful church named for the Holy family…like Jesus, Mary, and Joseph Holy family…it has a beautiful interior, I like to say the altar part of that church is like the Holy of Holies, it has paintings on the ceiling and elaborate gold trim…you know, over the top decor…not my style for home, but much appreciated for what it is worth in these old European churches.

The Holy family that I have had in my mind ever since is…and don’t take this wrong or find this boastful…is my own precious little family, the hubs, me the mama, and the little miss that God so graciously saw fit to give us!  You see we are Holy because HE is Holy…Christ who lives in me makes me righteous and blameless before God.  And His Holy plan was for Agnes to be ours…He saw it best for us three to be together forever and that AMAZES me, actually I think it will always amaze me!

I GET to be Agnes’ mama and she GETS to be my baby!  It was no accident that we struggled with infertility for years!  It was no accident that we wanted to adopt (even though for years we felt hopeless to do so).  It was no accident that I ran into that friendly American lady in the coffee line at a conference in Hungary.  It was no accident that the board of psychologists and social workers picked us out of several waiting couples to present Agnes to.  It was all part of God’s plan…and His plan is higher than my plan, His ways are higher than my ways, His thoughts are higher than my thoughts…He is Holy and I truly believe it was all in His Holy plan to make us a family.  I can’t stop thanking Him today for His greatness, for His wonder, for His amazing Holy plan for our little Holy family!

This season I am in right now and all you seasoned mamas out there can email me personally once you read this and tell me I’m normal, she is normal, it’s all normal….no really please do email me and tell me we are normal of being a mama to a toddler is refining me in a new fierce way!  Our little home is filled with SO MUCH JOY, LIKE ALL THE SMILES, ALL THE SQUEALS AND GIGGLES, J O Y!  It also is at times filled with temper tantrums and defiance sometimes that defiance comes from me and my stubbornness unfortunately and an unwillingness to eat, obey, listen, clean-up, and/ or go to bed…and it leaves me feeling defeated and not good enough!  Just yesterday even, after our lovely Holy family park time, I felt completely incapable of “mama”ing her well or correctly in the afternoon/evening…please tell me I am not alone in this!!

This season is making me seek God for answers, tangible helps, for companionship, for so many things that I never thought to seek Him for before…and I am getting to know Jesus all over again it feels like at times, getting to know His goodness in all the chaos that is life with a toddler.  Out of this refining I am praying that God will give me fruits of the spirit and that I will be able to boast in His goodness through my life.

So I am left sitting here typing this in AWW of my great God that loved me so much that He died to cover my CRAP (excuse or don’t excuse the language but crap my sin was and is indeed) and make me BLAMELESS and HOLY in His sight.  Our little Holy family!  I am in aww…in the hards of raising a toddler…in the joys of raising a toddler…in the finding myself, my strengths, my weaknesses as a 30 something”er”…I. AM. IN. AWW. OF. HIM. and His unfailing love and mercy and grace toward me!

SIDE NOTE>>GO OVER TO THE RIGHT SIDE OF THIS LITTLE OLD BLOG HERE AND ENTER YOUR EMAIL TO BECOME AN EMAIL FOLLOWER!  You will be emailed every time there is a new post so you won’t miss anything (no need for FOMO) and because FREE STUFF!!  I will send you a few printable adult coloring pages that I designed myself!!  I promise they will brighten your day!!  SO WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR???  HEAD OVER THERE>>>> and enter that email!  

I’m linked up over here today!